Wow

Hello.  it's been a rough few weeks... but I've had a successful surgery and started chemo.

I have to be happy that I am cancer free, but noticed that I'm not as happy about it.  I keep thinking to myself that if I'm cancer free why do I need to go through chemo and radiation... but I know it is the right choice to stop recurrance.  It is just hard to accept.

I am sitting here super early in the morning for me,.. because I can not stay asleep.

I think that maybe I needed a reminder of joyful suffering... I asked for Christ to teach me and He thought this was the best way.....

I have 5 incision sites... and figure that I needed to share in Christ's passion... in his 5 wounds...

It's just... wow... one tough lesson.